Christians are straight up FREAKS
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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