i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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