I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
