On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
