dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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