I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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