All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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