I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
