i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
