im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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