Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
