trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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