Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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