Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
