i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
