Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
