who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
