oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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