i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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