I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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