What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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