So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize