I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
