This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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