you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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