He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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