Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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