I want to stick my p in your. b.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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