Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville