Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (761) Bad night (5620)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.

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  (318): When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly. http://tfl.nu/g0dv
  Replies (7) Good night (3198) Bad night (659)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.

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  (586): conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features. http://tfl.nu/gno1
  Replies (15) Good night (6011) Bad night (1057)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4697) Bad night (940)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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  (780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp
  Replies (10) Good night (2946) Bad night (682)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

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  (952): nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough... http://tfl.nu/8n56
  Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (2553)
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  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

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  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2503) Bad night (751)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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  (480): We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet http://tfl.nu/q54w
  Replies (5) Good night (1644) Bad night (576)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?

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  (971): Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars? http://tfl.nu/yo90
  Replies (8) Good night (1434) Bad night (785)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.

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  (406): I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night. (1-406): You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7pyy
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (558)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (1124)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?

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  (570): You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award? http://tfl.nu/wwxx
  Replies (9) Good night (927) Bad night (636)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

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  (651): Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?" http://tfl.nu/vsfp
  Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (372)
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  (729): View more from

  Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.

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  (729): Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/1y7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1663) Bad night (476)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED

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  (615): I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies. (931): BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED http://tfl.nu/1csz
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (223)

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