So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's