Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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  (206): Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too. http://tfl.nu/q39q
  Replies (9) Good night (1555) Bad night (547)
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  (415): View more from California

  I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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  (415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5
  Replies (9) Good night (1374) Bad night (501)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind

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  (773): I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind http://tfl.nu/hlcm
  Replies (23) Good night (4161) Bad night (734)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.

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  (631): I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens. http://tfl.nu/64xb
  Replies (43) Good night (4357) Bad night (765)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?

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  (720): i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do? http://tfl.nu/0v59
  Replies (21) Good night (7805) Bad night (721)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?

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  (850): does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath? http://tfl.nu/la37
  Replies (14) Good night (1278) Bad night (4012)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  where do you find these guys?

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  (413): he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight' (860): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/yte1
  Replies (14) Good night (2792) Bad night (1200)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Vodka shot parachutes

  (265): View more from

  Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room

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  (202): Vodka shot parachutes (265): Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room http://tfl.nu/h39d
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (547)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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  (785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (529)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (837) Bad night (5475)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.

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  (614): Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles. http://tfl.nu/gha2
  Replies (10) Good night (2562) Bad night (600)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1129) Bad night (351)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?

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  (513): I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete? http://tfl.nu/ue0i
  Replies (3) Good night (1192) Bad night (843)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!

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  (505): She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before! http://tfl.nu/qmyv
  Replies (10) Good night (2106) Bad night (385)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.

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  (908): The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling. http://tfl.nu/4o2r
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (193)

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