Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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