As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
