Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
