what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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