I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
