Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
