I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Randomize
