Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize