we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
