The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
