Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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