Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
