I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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