Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
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I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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