I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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