Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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