I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
