"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
