If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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