She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
