i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
