i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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