Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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