you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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