Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
