Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
