I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We have started to decorate penises.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize