KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
