Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
