Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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