Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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