Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
